Payless III: The Revenge of the Slick.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the creme de la creme...the pinnacle...the BEST PAYLESS SHIT EVER. I prefer to recount this in screenplay format:


[FADE IN: Payless sits at her desk, surfing the web, and entering what appears to be some sort of financial information on a website. Her co-workers are in the midst of what they call "work", an enigma to Payless.]

PAYLESS
Omigod, those motherfuckers!


CO-WORKER ME
What happened?


PAYLESS
The stupid fucking Equifax fuckers still have me listed
at my old job, which was in California, in like, uh, '97.


CO-WORKER NOT ME
Call them and give them your current info and you should be fine.


PAYLESS
Yeah, besides, I don't want this on my report anymore, anyway.
I don't want people to know I worked there.


[SUDDENLY, THE ROOM BECOMES QUIET; THE ONLY AUDIBLE SOUND IS THE PERKING OF EARS.]


CO-WORKER ME
So, um, where did you use to work?

[THE UNDERCURRENT OF POSSIBILITY IS ENDLESS IN THE ROOM...]


PAYLESS
California Hardbodies.


CO-WORKER NOT ME
What is that, some health food place?


PAYLESS
No.

[SHE PAUSES, AS IF TO CONTEMPLATE FOR A MOMENT WHETHER OR NOT TO LAY IT ALL OUT. SHE ROLLS BACK HER SHOULDERS, LIFTS HER HEAD UP HIGH AND SAYS...]

PAYLESS
No, it's a female oil wrestling company. I was a wrestler.


[BEAT]


CO-WORKER ME
No fucking way.


PAYLESS
Oh yeah, I only did it for three years {asdlfkja;sdklfj????]

[CO-WORKER ME STANDS AND HEADS FOR THE DOOR TO THE HALLWAY BECAUSE SHE CAN NO LONGER BE IN THE ROOM WITHOUT TOTALLY LOSING HER SHIT.]

CO-WORKER ME
That's... crazy.


PAYLESS
I know!!! Isn't it!???!!!


SCENE