Monday, July 30, 2007

This seriously might be turning into a problem.

There was a time when I would come into work and be able to have a discussion about world events, presidential canidates, new restaurants, books, films and other cultural workings. But today, I sunk to a new low when I came in and screamed, "OH MY GOD, PLEASE TELL ME SOMEONE IN HERE WATCHED 'THE TWO COREYS on A&E last night!". [The fact that it's on A&E does not even count as cultural, so I'm doubly fucked].


This might be the best/worst yet. Corey Feldman, at one point, looked like a male ballet dancer in tight-white sweatpants and a Flashdance-cut boatneck, discussing with his wife (who looks like the chick from your high school that wasn't reeeeally pretty, but tagged along with the cute sluts and screwed wrestlers) how he hopes Corey Haim hasn't done anything drastic. Ya see, after finding out that the Lost Boys sequel was already in straight-to-video production, the Haimster lost it and all he was really doing was cruising around and buying them a four-year overdue wedding present from Tiffanys [Read: Went out and did 20 enormous rails of cocaine off the top of the toilet tank in a seedy Hollywood bar, got all fucked up, stumbled to the Century City Tiffanys and paid for a crystal vase with crumpled up 20's]. This might be my new favorite.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Extreme Bullshit

So, I just watched my Tivo'ed episode of Extreme Makeover and I'm pissed. These peeps got extreme makeovers because they "just didn't like how they looked". WELL, WHO THE FUCK DOES? I think the angle was that we were supposed to feel happy that they got one because they were a couple consisting of a paramedic and a firefighter. Gotcha. Tough jobs. Yup. Sure are. But does that qualify you for free veneers and lipo? Because if so, I really should have called this show when my ass was getting kicked by full-grown autistic kids. I'm just sayin'.

I think Extreme Makeover just jumped my shark.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Forcast for Thursday? 118!


I would like to share this picture of a local fireman extinguishing my skin after I got into my car today.